Why do we feel stuck at times in our life?

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We know we need to do something and move forward but we just don’t know where to begin.  How do we start?  What is stopping us?  Why are we feeling stuck in the first place?

Most of the time it’s fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of success.  Fear of failure.  Fear of rejection.   So the first step would be to take action!  Yes!  Just do it!  Take that first step!  Accept that staying where you are right now will not move you forward and you decide the step that will create action and movement in your life.

Yet you still can’t…. Maybe it’s a lie you’ve been telling yourself and believing all these years.  Maybe… maybe that fear isn’t even your own.  It’s something  a parent or person said that labeled you to believe what is not true of you.  So who’s thought is it anyway???

These limiting thoughts will keep us bound and stuck.  So what so we do?

Change the way you think about it.  Change that limiting thought, that lie, and make it true.  What is true?   What if you took whatever is stopping you and dared to take that first step to achieve that goal.  Imagine the possibilities and opportunities of what one small step will bring.   That very step you take may be the very thing that people need!  You may be that hope and answer to someones life!  It just could be a life changing step for you or others and you might never know it if you don’t take it.  Fear will stop us from seeing all that’s in front of us.

~Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever. -Keri Russell

~If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. -Wayne Dyer

Content Copyright © Lisa Seamon 2016

 

Feeling Broken & Discouraged? Read on…

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Ever feel broken & discouraged?  Not good enough, smart enough, educated enough, really small in the worlds eyes?  I have.  Not only does it hurt to be there but you just can’t move on in life thinking that way.  Those are limiting thoughts (lies) that bind you and stop you from moving forward to where God wants you to be.  Gods ways are not our ways nor the worlds way. He has imparted in each of us a special gift unique to only us that fulfills our purpose in this life.  A gift that will bring us joy, fulfillment to have impact in our world to serve others. So not by the worlds standard but Gods standard, He has an amazing journey for us and if we could just get rid of all those limiting thoughts we will know and experience what that is.  Listen to what God has to say in His Word:

1 Corinthians 1:28-28  “For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are.”

The wisdom of God surpasses world wisdom and He imparts His wisdom to us.

Proverbs 2:6 says “For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding.”

Look what He did for Solomon in 1King 4:29 “And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding beyond measure, and breadth of mind like the sand on the seashore.”  

To know that their is an amazing God who is going to see that you or I become exactly who he created us to be and equips us with power, wisdom, strength, and knowledge beyond measure to excel in whatever calling we have, to those who love and obey Him, is amazing!!!!  There’s no holding back on what God can do for you!  What ever your calling is.  What ever your next step is to be better or move forward or to just challenge yourself, He’s already equipped you! Just ask Him and receive all He has for you.  Maybe you don’t know Him and would like to. Maybe you have other limiting thoughts I haven’t mentioned here that’s holding you back, keeping you stuck. Maybe it’s a fear, a project, a career change you really want but are afraid to pursue, or a promotion, challenge, a decision, a relationship, someone has hurt you or your in need of personal or spiritual growth.  Whatever that is for you  I can help you.  Don’t stay there.  Please contact my website at: coachlisa-inspireyourlife.com so we can talk soon.

 

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Great article on how to positively build up your family. Focusing on the positive not the negative.

How to Build Up Your Family Members

APR 17, 2015

BY 

IN:YOUTH MINISTRY/TEENS

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Man holding grocery bag

How to Build Up Your Family Members

The home needs to be a safe place to “brag on each other” or, in other words, verbally support each other. The home is a place where, because of our committed love to each other, we should feel free to build up each other and rejoice with each other’s accomplishments. Parents can model this by speaking well of each other’s work. “Your mother sure can cook!” or “Your daddy did such a beautiful job on the front yard, did you all see it?” If parents are filled with resentment for each other and withhold affirmations, how can we expect it to become a norm in the home?

A powerful exercise I give to parents who come to me for family therapy is:

  1. Write down a list of 20 character traits you would like for your children to have. This list might include anything from being “strong in faith” to being punctual, kind or dependable. Keep this list posted somewhere in front of you – in your Bible, on your bedroom mirror, etc.
  2. Next, watch for any semblance of these traits in your children. The key is to recognize that trait and commend your child for it as soon as possible. For example, let’s say “thoughtfulness” was on your list of desired character traits. If your son offered to help you carry in some of the groceries that day, you reinforce his traits of thoughtfulness by spotting it and telling him show much you appreciate him being a thoughtful person.
  3. Additionally, a very fruitful way of increasing bonding and building this concept into his self-image is to compliment him in front of his significant others, his family. Brag on him in the presence of those who love him, “You should have seen the thoughtfulness in our son today. He picked up the sacks of groceries and had them all in the house before I could even ask for help.”

As it has been said, we “get more bees with honey than with vinegar.” I believe positive reinforcement of desired traits is ten times more effective than correction times, which are also necessary.


Condensed and adapted from Building Family Values Using the Tools of Bonding and Boundaries by Rodney and Nancy Dean, copyright ChurchGrowth.org.

Valentines Day Ideas: I read this article and loved it and just had to share it for Valentines!

25 Valentine’s Day Ideas for Couples
Here are some creative ways to tell your spouse, “I love you.”
By Mary May Larmoyeux
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Is it more important to love … or to be loved?

Most of us would agree with George Eliot’s words, “I like not only to be loved, but also to be told I am loved.”

Valentine’s Day is the occasion when you can experience both. We asked FamilyLife Facebook friends and Marriage Memo readers to share some of their favorite Valentine’s Day ideas.

With a little help from our friends, here are 25 creative ways to tell your spouse, “I love you.”

1. On small pieces of paper, write down every kind of kiss that you can think of (examples: passionate, on the cheek, etc.). Then fill an inexpensive red felt bag with your “kisses” and give it to your spouse. Ask your spouse to pull several pieces of paper from the felt bag, and then give your sweetheart whatever kind of kiss is described.

2. Make a book about why you love your spouse and why you are thankful for him/her. The woman who sent this idea wrote, “He loved it! Said it was the best gift he has ever gotten. And it helped me to focus on the things I love about my husband and not his shortcomings.”

3. Take your sweetie on a scavenger hunt. Ask him/her to answer riddles to find the clues to items that you placed somewhere around town. The last item should give instructions that lead to your Valentine’s Day activities.

4. After enjoying a candlelight dinner for two at home, give your spouse a massage and watch a romantic movie. The woman who suggested this wrote, “Last Valentine’s Day when I got home from work, my husband … had our bedroom set up with a candlelit table for two. He is NOT a cook but he made an awesome meal … grilled steak, sautéed shrimp in lemon, garlic, and butter, a vegetable, and [he] bought a chocolate fountain that was flowing—surrounded by fresh fruit for dipping. After dinner he led me over to his homemade massage table. … We ended our special night with a romantic movie.

5. Surprise your spouse with a special getaway together. The man who suggested this made reservations at a bed and breakfast, arranged for childcare, asked for time off from work for himself and his wife, and packed his and her bags. When he asked his wife to go to lunch on Valentine’s Day she was in for a wonderful surprise. “The little bit of effort I put into that weekend paid off huge for weeks to come.” (For an extra special experience, take your spouse to one of FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember marriage getaways. It’s one of the best investments you could make in your marriage. There are seven scheduled around the country for Valentine’s weekend, and many more throughout the year.)

6. Give your wife a dozen roses. On each stem attach a note for a future date—to do something that she would enjoy (example: Go to the symphony).

7. If possible, go on a date with your spouse to a restaurant that you enjoyed when you first met. After you order your meal, take some time to write down favorite memories from the past year. Then share your lists.

8. Have 11 roses delivered to your wife, and then give her a 12th yourself while reading her a love poem.

9. Fill a large box with helium balloons and special gifts for Valentine’s Day. The woman who suggested this said that her gifts included “new sleep shorts for him and a new nightgown for me, a box of chocolate-covered strawberries and red napkins … some new candles, and a romantic CD. He got the hint. And loved the weekend.”

10. Create an intimate Valentine’s Day evening at home, without the children. The woman who suggested this idea said that she and her husband “enjoyed planning the menu, shopping for the meal, and ultimately preparing the meal together. Cooking to soft, romantic music can really be a turn on! While dining, the same soft, romantic music is a wonderful mood-setter. Dinner was followed by just the two of us having the whole dance floor, our den, to ourselves. I won’t say what all this led to, but it was a truly romantic night that would not have happened at the local restaurant!”

11. Order food from a take-out restaurant and have a picnic for all the Valentines in your family on your living room floor. The person who suggested this said, “The kids look forward to this every year. When we tried to change it, they wouldn’t allow it … it has become a tradition. The kids see the value of family and a loving marriage.”

12. Privacy and weather permitting, watch a romantic movie on your deck or patio.

13. If you are separated across the miles, send a care package filled with things that are red.

14. Make a meal with symbols of love. Examples: Write I love you with string beans, make a tart in the shape of a heart …

15. Hide little heart candies in your spouse’s shoes, coat, car, etc. The woman who suggested this said that she’s been doing this for decades. “Now a couple of the grandkids help me with delight.”

16. Wives, show up at your husband’s office before lunch. Call him from the parking lot and tell him you are going to take him for a lunch rendezvous and that you will be waiting for him whenever he can take a break. Wear a nice outfit and tell him you have something sexy on underneath for when he gets home. Take him to a nice place for lunch and back to the office. Give him some great kisses telling him how glad you are to be married to him, and tell him you will be waiting for him when he gets home.

17. Fill a jar with Valentine candy and notes for your spouse. Examples of notes are: Good for a backrub, 10 kisses, etc. Notes could also express your love and respect: “I am so glad that God blessed my life with such a great husband like you.” Individually roll each note and tie it with a ribbon.

18. Surprise your spouse by taking a vacation day from work and enjoy Valentine’s Day at home. Have a relaxing morning together on the porch, deck, or patio. Then go to a favorite restaurant for lunch. The man who suggested this idea had also reserved a spa treatment and tanning session for his wife. “While she was doing that,” he says, “I went home and made her a special dinner.”

19. Write a poem for your spouse and frame it.

20. On individual note cards, write why you love your spouse. Insert these cards in a small photo album. The woman who suggested this idea began her album with a honeymoon picture and introductory note card, and ended it with a love note.

21. Surprise your husband when he comes home from work on February 14. Place a welcome sign on the kitchen table and leave a trail of red foil-wrapped Hershey kisses to your bedroom.

22. With roses in hand and permission from your wife’s boss, go to her workplace and read a love poem to her. The woman who shared this idea said, “I am a teacher in an inner city school. Last year my husband dressed in my favorite suit and tie, came to my school with roses in hand. He got permission and assistance from the office staff to open the speaker system into my classroom and proceeded to read a long and beautiful love poem to me. He then came to my classroom and presented me with the bouquet of roses which I received while wiping my tears of joy and love for this wonderful man whom I have been married to for just under 30 years.”

23. Make a special “14 Reasons I Love You” Valentine’s Day breakfast for your sweetheart. On his/her plate, leave a letter or card listing 14 reasons that you love your spouse.

24. If possible, send a card postmarked in a town that has a romantic name such as Loveland, Colorado; Valentine, Texas; or Romance, Arkansas.

25. After your spouse goes to bed, tape notes to his car’s steering wheel with reasons that you love him, or decorate the bathroom mirror with lipstick kisses or Valentine’s window clings.

Have fun on February 14, and remember: Love is not meant to be given and received on just Valentine’s Day. Instead, it’s to be practiced every single day of the entire year.

© Copyright 2013 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

FamilyLife is a donor-supported ministry offering practical and biblical resources and events to help you build a godly marriage and family.

Commitment..when I said I do, did I really mean it?

Do you really mean it?  I mean, we hear those vows over and over as we promise to stay true, faithful,  through sickness and in health but how committed are we really?   Dictionary.com says commitment is:  #3 says: the act of committing, pledging, or ENGAGING ONESELF. 4# a PLEDGE or PROMISE..  #5 says: ENGAGEMENT; INVOLVEMENT .  Although I haven’t written out all the definitions, I highlighted the ones that spoke the loudest to me because a lot of times in marriage as well as committed relationships we just divorce or leave when the going gets tough.  When we don’t want to deal with things and take what we committed too seriously.  So let’s take a look at these words.

Engaging – We certainly engage at the beginning of a relationship don’t we?  That first attraction,  the smile that took our breath away and we couldn’t wait to really engage and get to know everything about that person.   We wanted to be with them every second of the day and do everything with them.  Our heart poured out with love notes, I love you’s, deep conversations,  there was just something about the way they…and so on…. you catch my drift,  so the question is: Are you still engaged?  Sometimes we just need to go back there and remember how we felt in the beginning to flame the fire again.  Engaging takes action.

Involvement – How involved are you still?  Are you more involved in other things that keep you too busy?  Is that intentional?I think you’re getting this now.  It happens to the best of us.  Involvement is a choice.

Pledge or Promise – Is a vow. It’s dedication to a commitment. Your word. 

I found this on Crosswalk.com:

Love that lasts

A cartoon in a national magazine recently showed a couple standing before a minister during their wedding. The minister, looking at the bride, said, “The correct response is ‘I do’ – not ‘It’s worth a try.'”

Love – in marriage and in other relationships – requires dogged commitment on our part. Contrary to popular opinion, love doesn’t come naturally for us humans. Love is “others-centered” and self-sacrificing. We are self-centered and, in our own natural selves, we care little about sacrifice unless powerfully motivated. In fact, the Bible teaches that only someone who really knows God through Jesus Christ is capable of the kind of love the Bible describes. John wrote, “Love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (I John 4:7-8, NIV).

Paul taught that God’s love is “poured out in our hearts” by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5), and Jesus said that the world would recognize that we are Christians by our love (John 13:35). Love grows as we nurture it. It develops as we feed it. It expands as we persist in it. That kind of love has staying power.

– Turning Point Daily Devotional, 9/17/03

So I write this because I feel a lot of relationships go bad because we just don’t fuel it.  We don’t nurture it and pour our heart into it.  We are to busy thinking of our self and what we think we need.  We forget to go back and remember how it all began.  You know it’s an investment of your time.  What you invest your time in will grow.  You want it to grow?  Well then feed it.

Are you ready?  If this has helped you, I would love to hear feedback.

Lisa Seamon – Founder of Coach Lisa – Inspire your Life!

coachlisa-inspireyourlife.com

Courage through difficulty & fear

Finding the courage to stand up and speak in front of an audience or even to speak your mind sometimes can be the most fearful thing a person can face and yet to others it comes so natural as driving a car.  Why is that?  Whats behind that fear?

Insecurity, feeling you’re not good enough, not experienced enough, fear of fear itself?  Yet when you finally find the courage to do it, or say it, you feel exhilarated, relieved and confident.  What’s the worst that could happen?  It didn’t go as well as you thought but now you know how to do it better next time.  What’s the best that would happen?  It was successful and inside you know you feel better because you reached out to people who really needed to hear what you had to say.  Our fear will keep us from moving forward in life and getting us to where we need to be.  So how did we learn to walk?  We had to start by pulling ourselves up first and then taking that first step that led to another step.  By doing, and that took courage.  So just do it.  Have the courage.  Get the courage and release it!  Thoughts can really limit us if we let it.

If I am speaking to you today, I encourage you to take that step of courage and just do it.  Don’t let fear hold you back from moving forward and be the best you can be!

I’de love to coach you.  My web site is:  Coachlisa-inspireyourlife.com

First coach session is complimentary

Content Copyright © Lisa Seamon 2014

“When Love Hurts” by Lisa Seamon

 

Your world revolved around them. You created habits around them, planned your day, and even your future around them. Now, the relationship is over, and everything reminds you of them. It seems impossible, but you know you need to move past this and heal. But how do you do this?

The first thing to do is to allow yourself to feel what your feeling. Don’t react, just feel the emotion and know that it will pass. It is part of the healing process, a process of recovery, and of growth, but a process nonetheless, which will take time. If you are angry identify your anger as a normal response, but do not allow it to define you. Recognize that “I am angry, but I am not my anger.” Once you can identify and accept your emotions, you can plan your response to them.

This would be a good time to start thinking about developing a relationship with yourself. When we are in relationships, we often forget the importance of self-reflection. We forget who we are, what things we enjoyed and were passionate about before we became involved in the relationship. Take this opportunity to get in touch with yourself again, and redefine forgotten goals, or make new ones. Start by reexamining your daily routine. Shake up old habits you have fallen into. For example, if you called him or her at certain times during the day, instead, go for a walk, or have coffee with a friend. Try new things that will take you outside of your comfort zone, and open you up to new experiences. For example:

1. Work out at the gym with a friend. 2. Join social networks of interest. Attend meetings and meet new people. 3. Journal or read a book. 4. Get in touch with old friends and reconnect. 5. Plan a weekend getaway with your best friend or a relative. 6. Try meditation. 7. Write down positive affirmations and take them with you.

It is not easy creating new habits and in the beginning it will be hard, but each day it will get easier and before you know it you will have new goals and a new purpose in life, along with new friends. You will move on as you gain clarity and self-awareness. After all, you have a unique set of skills and abilities that only you are able to contribute, and you will rediscover those attributes as you heal. Where pain subsides, newness resides. You will be better because of it, because you will have allowed this hurt to grow you and move you to better places than would have ever imagined. Embrace your wonderful self!

Lisa Seamon is a Certified Professional Life Coach specializing in relationships, transitional stages & family life. To contact Lisa go to her website at: CoachLisa-InspireYourLife.com

Content Copyright © Lisa Seamon 2013

Grandchildren…

I am enjoying having my two grandchildren stay with me for three weeks and then later on spend  vacation with them.  Grandchildren are such a gift from God.  Gods timing is perfect.  He sends us grandchildren at a time in our lives when our children are grown and have left our home to start families of their own.  Every stage in our life is full of wonder, change and new beginnings.  We get to relive seeing the excitement in their little faces when they are playing, dancing or just having a conversation with us.  Their laughter renews our joy.  Their youth and playful ways renew our spirits reminding us that we never have to stop playing, dancing or singing….I would say a bit of heaven in those sweet faces.